My Own version of H2G2
by ChaoticPi
Summary: It started with me having a cold. Then it moved to me writing it for the fun of it. This is what happens when my brain takes over H2G2.
1. Ch 1: 5 Minutes Until DOOM!

a/n Lemme just say that like everyone else says, I don't own these characters, I just like to manipulate them for my own plots and schemes. Muahahahahhaha! Anywho. I just started writing this for no apparent reason. I think it was having a day off from school, having a cold and being bored that added to this story. Enjoy!  
  
15 Minutes until DOOM!  
  
This story starts with a small little unimportant planet off of the face of the universe. This little place called "Earth" allways constantly thought it was in charge of the universe, in fact if you asked one of the Terrans named Bishop Berkely a few centries back he would say "I create the world when I observe it." Course as they evolved more and more of these Terrans began to say the same thing, including the superior ones they called 'physicists'.  
  
Even though they thought they controlled the universe, they still couldn't get their lives to not be miserable. Most of this was due to the fact that their 'economy' was verry shoddy. It acually was a more evolved version of bartering and exchange and hadn't gone the way of the Bulbaxtons yet which bartered people, although some small groups of terrans found that out (they were called 'whores').  
  
At this time this story is more about a house. A small unimportant house by a small unimportant terran by the name of Artur Dent.  
  
Arthur woke up that morning wondering why in the hell he was alive like many other terrans like himself do when they wake up in the morning. He looked out the window at the bulldozer and with a feeling of Deja Vu (terran speak for unintentional recognizing of the fact that all time existed at one moment) Arthur found himself moments later lying in front of a bulldozer.  
  
As he was sitting there trying to decide what he might have for dinner that evening (quite possibly chineese take-out) a cloud passed over the sun. Surprized Arthur looked up. Instead of seeing a cloud over the sun, he saw his friend Fnord Prefect who was wearing his usual Mechanic's shirt with the name Fnord Prefect and jeans. Arthur found his friend unusual and at times, downright confusing. Even though Arthur didn't know it, happenstance was that Fnord materialized on earth right in the middle of a bookstore. He looked over and saw a book by a terran named Malcalypse the Younger. Upon looking inside the book for a name for himself, he came across a word: fnord. And it stuck. Where the Prefect part came from, he says later that he made it up in that instance "Cause it sounded good that way."  
  
With a small squeltch Fnord helped his friend up from the already dried mud, the squeltch came from the unimportant terran that was looking over at them. He was decended from an acient race of people, memes from his family tree had him hearing a yelling, pillaging and plundering group of people in his head which were called Day After Thanksgiving Shoppers.  
  
"What?" Fnord asked the man as he nerviously looked between Fnord and Arthur. In the man's eye, things had to go just in plan or else he doesn't know what to do. This is where he was at this moment.  
  
"I- Why are you getting up?" He asked and Arthur looked over at Fnord, who was looking up at the sky.  
  
"Look," Fnord said, after the Jedi Knight trick didn't work, "Why don't you lie down here instead. I mean, what in the heck is it going to do for you? I'm just going to take him down to the pub and then we'll be back and he can take back over." Fnord thought to himself, these stupid terrans, they'll believe anything.  
  
"Allright." the man said and lied down in the mud where Arthur was lying before.  
  
"Come, I have some important news." Fnord said grabbing Arthur by the arm.  
  
"What is it?" Arthur asked when they intered the bar and ordered a round.  
  
"The world's going to end in about ten minutes." Fnord said.  
  
"What?" Arthur said. He couldn't hear Fnord over the sound of the buldozer running into his house.  
  
Meanwhile the squeltching man was still hearing those Thanksgiving Day Shoppers, only now they were fighting a person over a popular kids toy and winning. 


	2. Ch 2: The Beginning of the Middle of the...

CH2 The beginning of the middle of the end.  
  
After the bulldozer ran into Arthur's house, there was a rumbling from the sky. Looking up he saw that it was a huge UFO. Not the band mind you, but the real thing, a huge gigantic ship with spires coming out of the side, not that anyone really knows what spires are. A voice boomed over the rising panic over the earth.  
  
"Earthlings," It said, "Your world is now destined for destruction. I'm sorry but you should have seen the record of eviction written on the moon!" This is as stupid as the idiot who put the warning on the sun which to this day still reads: 'WARNING: Do not look too closely at sun for risk of loss of sight!'  
  
"Told you." Fnord Prefect said calmly wondering if he was going to die on the planet he spent the worst 15 years.  
  
Arthur, panicked, ran around like a chicken with his head cut off pulling at his hair and screaming "We're doomed!" at the top of his lungs. On his second round around Fnord, Fnord grabbed Arthur by the shoulders and shook him. "Don't be so annoying, it's only the end of the world." to which Arthur screamed louder than he had previously before he lost consciousness.  
  
When Arthur woke up he was in an enclosed space. He couldn't see anything. He wanted to scream but what he thought was Fnord's hand clamped over his mouth. "Fnord, who are you?" He asked when the hand removed itself.  
  
"I'm an alien to your world. I'm actually from the Dogstar Sirus."  
  
"Is it nice there this time of year?" Arthur said trying to be formidable.  
  
"It's hoter than it is on the equator on the summer equinox." Fnord said and grinned to himself in the dark.  
  
"Umm. Fnord?" Arthur asked. "Where are we?"  
  
"Some ship I flagged down that picked us up."  
  
"Why can't we see?"  
  
"Apparently they don't have any eyes."  
  
Just as Fnord said that, they were sucked into the vaccum of space not knowing that they had been sitting in the waste disposal part of the ship. If you've never been catapulted into space you don't know how cold it is out there. It's a minus 20 degrees on the warmest day and this was the coldest one yet. This is in contradiction with the terran physicists who say that it's slowly cooling down. If the universe was slowly cooling down, I'd hate to see what it's like when it's finally done. Second, there's no air in space. When they were capulted out on their seemingly last breath of oxygen the vaccum started to compress parts of the human body, mainly the lungs.  
  
Which is why they were exceedingly lucky to be picked up by the Heart of Gold. Probablity would place on them getting picked up was around a google to one. No, a google to 1to the 600th power. If you don't understand math, that's a pretty unlikely probability. So they were lucky.  
  
They didn't know what hit them. All they knew was that one moment they were asphyxiating in space and the next they were, well, wherever they were.  
  
"Fnord?" Arthur asked. He couldn't see anything.  
  
"Yes Arthur?" Fnord said seemingly ages away.  
  
"Where are we?"  
  
"Why must you ask that question every time we end up somewhere?"  
  
Arthur was able to see again and he saw he was being delivered as a baby from some unknown woman. The doctor was Fnord.  
  
"What the hell?" Arthur said.  
  
"I don't know either." Fnord said looking bewildered.  
  
Sensibilty passed them by like a ship in the night, and they found themselves at last on a sea that looked like CoComo floating in a coctail umbrella. 


	3. Ch 3: Heart of Gold

CH3 Heart of Gold  
  
When reality finally noticed the two strange beings floating on a cocktail umbrella on the CoComo it deemed it necessary to right what mistakes it had made and placed them on the deck of a huge ship spray painted gold.  
  
"What," Arthur asked after he regained his senses. "was that?"  
  
"That most unfortunately, was the improbability drive." a saddened voice said behind them.  
  
They turned around to see a robot about six feet tall slumping over as it walked. "My name is Marvin. Now you know and one day use it against me. Oh, everyone does." He sighed and walked away.  
  
"I think we should follow the robot." Fnord Prefect said and Arthur followed having no inclination to understand what was going on. He in fact, likened it to a bad dream where upon waking he'd laughingly tell Fnord he dreamt that Fnord was an alien.  
  
The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy says this about the Improbability Drive:  
  
IMPROBABILITY DRIVE: The likeliness of this device being built is, well, improbable. The fact that the only working Improbability Drive in existence is in the hands of Zaphod Beeblebrox is just as improbable. The Drive works by an assimilation of how cold it is waiting for the bus and the lateness of the bus in the respects of the fact that the colder it is, the later the bus is. This used such highly complicated math that people could only come to about a rough approximation of it. Which is why they built the ship computer Eddie; for that precise reason.  
  
"If there's one thing that I absolutely loathe about this ship," Marvin was raving to himself as he walked the two up to the control room. "Is that this ship is too happy. The door does nothing but tell you that it was happy to open for you. Oh I blame it on that blasted Cybernetics corporation."  
  
Arthur threw a look in Fnord's direction. Fnord shrugged. The door opened and sighed happily. Marvin rolled his eyes.  
  
The door had happily opened to the control room of the heart of gold. Sitting in a chair was a being with two heads and three arms. For a second Arthur was confused, he couldn't tell if there were two people sitting in the chair or one.  
  
"These two loathsome travelers were found here. They were picked up along the way." Marvin introduced.  
  
"I knew I felt a bump as we entered warp space!" The being said. "Oh by the way, My name is Zaphod Beeblebrox."  
  
"Did I hear that right?" Arthur whispered.  
  
"And who are you?" Zaphod looked Arthur up and down.  
  
"I am Arthur Dent." Arthur said holing his hand out to shake. Zaphod looked at it as if it was a snaggleblaster, a vile creature who lives off the coast of a tiny planet called Toast.  
  
Arthur took his hand back and stood there. "I'm Fnord Prefect." He said and looked around. "Good man, is there anything to drink around here?"  
  
Zaphod pointed towards a machine in the wall that said DRINK. He walked over and left Arthur and Zaphod in an awkward position. Neither of the two knowing what the other one's like so killing any conversation that might pass between the two.  
  
In that moment Fnord started running around hand at his throat screaming. "What in the bloody hell was that vile drink?" He fell to all fours and began coughing.  
  
"I have no clue, but it's all the machine can make." Zaphod said and Arthur walked up to the machine to see what it was. It called itself PepiBlue.  
  
"Oh," Arthur said. "We got lots of that at home." He walked over got himself a drink and much to Zaphod and Fnord's amazement, drank it. "It's all made by Americans anyway."  
  
"Well it's rumored that if your planet can make PepiBlu in any form or spelling then your planet is destined for doom." Zaph said.  
  
"Well yeah," Fnord said flippantly. "His planet was plowed in headway for a highway."  
  
Both shrugged whereas Arthur was over at the machine coaxing it to make tea. "Well then after we discovered fire..." They overheard him say.  
  
"So what were you doing with the ship anyway?" Fnord asked to make conversation.  
  
"Oh there was this thing where they were making a ship. They wanted to prove to the world that it could be done with an improbability drive. So they invited the president of the Universe."  
  
"Oh? And who was that?" Fnord said as the real effects of the PepiBlue started affecting him.  
  
"Well me."  
  
"Oh." Fnord said and found a nearby chair. He sat. "Bet that's really going to kill your chances of ever rerunning as President."  
  
"And then, the Homo Erectus finally went extinct thanks to the 'out of Africa' theory of Homo Sapiens. They then started going into China and other areas..." Arthur was still going on.  
  
Back over at Fnord Prefect and Zaphod Beeblebrox, they had stopped talking and were playing a couple games of rock, paper, scissors. "But see, scissors can cut through paper." Fnord was saying.  
  
"No, but you can wrap paper around scissors so they don't work!" Zaph said.  
  
Fnord shook his head at the futile game and looked over at Arthur who was sitting on the floor and still telling the story of tea to the machine. "Well finally they started making tea and it was delicious. They made it their staple. That didn't work, so they made it something they drank a lot. Then we noticed how many varieties of tea there were..."  
  
Fnord shrugged again and Zaphod was looking out the window. "So where were you going to go?" Fnord asked him.  
  
"I wouldn't know." One of Zaph's heads said to him. "I just thought to myself, steal the ship. So I did. And here I am. I think I'm headed out to the far end of the universe."  
  
"Well that works." Fnord said.  
  
"Yeah, I'm guessing so."  
  
"And my favorite tea is the western Isle tea. It's got this tang to it, that conversely is sweet. Now you know what lemons and sugar are right?" The computer muttered an affirmative, "Good 'cause I don't want to go into those. Now some like a little lemon and a lot of sugar, then there's those who like a lot of lemon and a little sugar, and there are those who don't give a damn. I however am a delicate constitution..."  
  
"Delicate constitution, there's no lying there." Fnord muttered under his breath. "So that's ONE way to get out of being President of the Universe."  
  
"Yeah," His left head nodded. "It's a joke anyway. There's always someone else over your head that you can't account for."  
  
"Who?" Fnord asked.  
  
"I haven't the foggiest. I know he's started a few wars in his name." Zaph said.  
  
"And then I started drinking tea. I have loved it since." Arthur finished. "So do you think you can get me some besides this unsightly beverage?"  
  
"I'll have to think about it." The computer said. "I'll confer with Eddie. He's got to have as good idea as I do."  
  
"Yo?" Eddie said and the other computer talked to him: "This being wants tea. I just got the gist of the whole deal with tea. But I'm still wondering."  
  
"Hmmm." Was the last thing audible that Eddie said.  
  
"Doesn't something feel strange?" Fnord said. They looked around and realized why. The whole deck had dimmed as if somewhat thinking. "Oh it's just the lighting."  
  
Zaph looked around and nodded as well. They looked out the rearview mirror (Mirror and it's base made out of gold.) There was a ship, that looked like it was thrown together from spare parts and completely ducttaped from front to back. Only this time it was that yellow duct tape you find in some hardware stores. Zaph turned a beet red. "Crap. Volgons."  
  
"Vulcans?" Arthur asked as he just entered the conversation. "The live long and prosperous people?" He put his hands up in the annoying 'V' that many a Sci-Fi convention go-er knows.  
  
"There is no live long and prosperous with these Volgons. They like to demolish anything. And if something of their work lasts, then they have to destroy it."  
  
All two of them looked over at Arthur. "What?" Arthur asked pretending to be innocent.  
  
"Eddie, get us into warp drive." Zaph said.  
  
"I'm sorry but I'm currently working on a problem here. Now, here's some Yanni for your convenience!" The sounds of the annoying player started coming through the computer ports.  
  
"Eddie!" Zaph said.  
  
"Is Yanni too bad for you? Here's Enya's first CD, cause man, you're sounding stressed out as hell." Eddie went back to working on the problem.  
  
"EDDIE!" Zaph screeched. "I think NOW would be a good time to put us into warp drive! NOW!"  
  
"Well shoot, don't get that stressed out. It's only tea." Eddie said.  
  
Both Zaph and Fnord looked over at Arthur who had turned a beet red. 


	4. Ch 4: High Insanity in a Lowbrow Situati...

Thank y'all for getting me to work on this insane story again. I mean, I love this insanity. It's mostly warm up work for when I work on my actual nonfiction stories. So thanks again and welcome to the insanity known as my brain hyped up on coffee.  
  
H2G2- Chapter 4.  
  
"What?" Arthur said as he tried to gain composure. It wasn't working. "I just asked for tea."  
  
"Who can say when the world change? Who can say why our lives change? Only time" The sound system was blaring.  
  
"It's all your fault!" Zaphod said and charged Arthur strangling him. "It's your fault we're going to die!"  
  
"What?" He managed to cough out. He didn't understand. Like most terrans he didn't understand anything that was beyond his reasoning, which to say for our dear friend Arthur is a lot.  
  
"Volgons. They kill. They maim. They destroy. They found us. They are going to maim, kill, destroy us and the ship we are currently arguing on." Fnord spelled out.  
  
"Ohhh!" Arthur said. He looked over at the ship's computer terminals and suddenly had a thought which for Arthur is usually a big thing. They reason later it was the improbability drive. "What can override the system?"  
  
"Well," Zaphod thought for a moment. "Usually ghosts work." He said and grinned. "I always wanted to meet my great great great great great great great great great great great great Grandfather. He'd know what to do."  
  
They stood in a circle feeling foolish, at least Arthur felt foolish. He looked behind him where the computer was still thinking and silently swore at himself. Why did he have to be so unintelligent? Was unintelligent a word? What was a word?  
  
"Stop thinking so hard." Fnord said to Arthur, "It's going to kill you eventually. I can see the smoke rising."  
  
They stood in silence holding hands. Arthur half expected someone to break out with a guitar and start singing Kumbyah. As he finished that thought, there appeared a mist in the circle between them. The mist started solidifying and out of it Arthur got a glimpse of a fez.  
  
"You're not my G-12 Grandfather." Zaphod said to the swirling mist as it solidified into a person around middle age wanna be swami with the Fez on his head.  
  
"Of course not!" The figure said to Zaphod. The figure then turned to Fnord Prefect and read his nametag. "Oh my!" He pointed. "Hail Eris!" He thundered and threw up what to Arthur looked to be a peace sign.  
  
"All Hail Discordia." Fnord said back one hand held in the same V shape. He then twisted his eyebrows and added, "Who are you?"  
  
"Ahh, you worship the Lady and you do not know who I am?" The guy tipped his fez and grinned, "I am Macalypse the Elder! I am the first Episkipos of the Erisian Church. You of all people, wearing a shirt that says Fnord should know that!"  
  
"Er," Fnord started, "Actually, I just breezed through the book. It was a long journey and I didn't want to waste time in a bookstore, and spending more time in the local pub."  
  
"Spoken, like a true Erisian!" Maly agreed.  
  
"Look," Zaphod said apparently feeling more and more out of the loop. "If you two are done with your bonding ritual then I have a preposition for you Macalypse."  
  
"Oh?" He said. "Is their alcohol involved?"  
  
"Just tea." Arthur finally felt he knew enough to add imput.  
  
Maly shrugged and grinned, "Sure."  
  
It took less than a minute (45 seconds to be exact) to fill Maly in on the problem they are having. He nodded along the string thing on his fez bouncing to the rhythm of the Enya CD. "And that's that." Zaph finished.  
  
Maly thought for a second and then finally said, "Fnord, you remember that part in the Principia Discordia where they explain how to do the turkey curse?"  
  
"Yes?" Fnord said wondering what in the hell the turkey curse had anything to do with anything.  
  
"Well I have an idea." He said and filled everyone in on it.  
  
The Volgon ship was coming in strong, despite or because of the fact that it was made from duct tape. They all could feel the doom in the air.  
  
"I hope this works." Zaphod said. He didn't trust the misty person in front of him.  
  
"It will," Malcalypse the Elder said and grinned as only that Erisian could. "Now, on the count of three. One. Two. Three."  
  
They stood in a circle and once he did three they started waving their hands in the air as if they were live snakes, their feet rooted to the ground level with their shoulders and then Malcalypse started the chant. "Gobble, gobble, gobble."  
  
As they dissolved into giggles so did the Volgon ship. Their faces red and their sides hurting they automatically felt better. As Arthur got up he looked around for Malcalypse but he had disappeared. "Where's Maly?" He finally asked and Fnord shrugged.  
  
Finally the lights in the cabin came back to full power and the music shut off. Finally Eddie started speaking, "Tea anyone?" 


	5. Ch 5: Time to Meet Your Maker

A/N: Yeah, even though no one has come back and finished reading my story I'm going to sit here and keep on going. Mind you this is also going along with what I remember of H2G2's series as well as whatever I feel like making up. For this little brief moment, the characters are mine and I can manipulate them in any form that I wish. Muaahhahahahahah! The fanfic is original the characters are not. Save the ones I make up. Hail Eris. Fnord?  
  
Chapter 5- Time to Meet Your Maker  
  
Arthur was sitting in a chair drinking a cuppa and watching the stars fly by around them. Fnord was arm wrestling with Marvin and Zaphod knitting a sweater. Asked later why he made the sweater he said that the needles and yarn had appeared out of nowhere and he felt like making a sweater for some reason.  
  
Suddenly the door to the ships' deck happily slid open and there in the doorway stood... Gilligan. No wait, Arthur's eyes were deceiving him again. It was Trillian. All he remembered of her was a drunken haze filled with attempts to get her to come to his house for some much needed tea. Arthur had dressed as a not so well done Holmes and she had been some Greek goddess. At least that's what his memory served as a helpful guide, all he remembered was wanting her out of that toga she was wearing.  
  
"Arthur!" She exclaimed.  
  
"Trillian!"  
  
"Fnord!" She added as she came into the room.  
  
"Trillian!" Fnord said and started walking towards her in amazement.  
  
"Zaphod?" She asked him and he shrugged.  
  
Suddenly Tim Curry flies by the window dressed in drag (remember, this IS the ship with the improbability drive) "Rocky!"  
  
"Bullwinkle!" Everyone says automatically.  
  
"By god what in the world are you two doing here?" She raised an eyebrow that mysteriously made her look like Kate Winslet in Titanic.  
  
"Didn't you hear?" Fnord said and walked over towards her. Trillian shook her head. "The Earth was removed in order to make way for a major Inter- Galactic Highway."  
  
"Really?" She walked over to the nearest chair and sat. Arthur looked at her from across the ship hand still politely holding the saucer and cup of tea he was drinking.  
  
"Really." They all said in unison.  
  
"So where to now?" Fnord asked as he sat back drinking PepiBlu. Arthur couldn't understand how Fnord could be so relaxed. Arthur himself was missing his house, his kettle, even his bed. He was blasted off his own planet, projected out into space, brought in by a ship and tortured until he could no longer stand it. Now, now, Fnord was asking where were they going to next. It was unthinkable.  
  
"There's this small unpopulated planet I've always wanted to populate." Zaphod said with a wink at Trillian. Arthur could feel the anger rise and angrily sipped his tea instead.  
  
"Well lets go." She said and Zaphod turned to Eddie.  
  
"Eddie. Get us going. Now. We want to be there soon." He said. There was a pulsing beneath them and the stars beyond that started to become blurry lines.  
  
They sat around waiting. Arthur had nothing better to do and Zaphod was trying to figure out how to do a hook stitch so he could connect two different patterns together. He was having a time of it but it didn't seem to bother him. Fnord was slowly drinking himself under the table, under the rug and floor even. Arthur almost wondered why he didn't sign Fnord up for AA.  
  
Finally the ship landed with a jolt and a splash. Evidently there was some water around in which the ship had landed in. Luckily it was a puddle and nothing more. They stepped off the planet and looked around. It reminded Arthur of the moon, only brown and had some kind of smoky stuff surrounding the different craters.  
  
"Fnord?" Arthur asked but the question was intercepted by Zaphod.  
  
"This is actually. It can't be." He turned around and there, behind the ship was a billboard with a hole in it, evidently from the ship landing on it. In big bold red letters it said, 'Welcome to Margrathea.' Zaphod started laughing and kept on laughing long after everyone had figured out the joke, which even the writer doesn't know yet. "This planet once was inhabited. They had a fetish for boas. So they spent all their money making nothing but boas. Hamster boas, feather boas of all kinds, boas that were made from boa constrictors. Then they fell apart. Nothing here has been habitual since."  
  
"Then why didn't they change anything?" Arthur asked as he stared at what had once been a boa empire.  
  
"You know how hard it is to get people to change their minds on something. It's the same thing here. Someone gave them a copy of Richard Marx's proposals about socia-"  
  
"I thought that was Karl Marx." Arthur asked, apparently confused.  
  
"What? And who do you think gave him the idea after writing 'Open Arms'?" To Zaphod this was ordinary history.  
  
"So it's unpopulated." Fnord said leaning against the ship wearing sunglasses trying to hide the glare from the gold ship. "And we only have tea to drink. What, Zaphod were you thinking?"  
  
"Well what do you think?" He said giving a glance over at Trillian. Arthur could see now why he had wanted Trillian out of her toga that blurry night.  
  
Arthur looked over at his friend who was standing up straight his hands balled into fists. He obviously felt something as well for Trillian. He tried to remember weather or not Fnord had been at the party but all that came up was a blurry outline of someone speaking about the fact that according to the... someplace... of Records, our planet was doomed.  
  
As an argument could have ensued there appeared out of nowhere this small little being no bigger than a Tolkein hobbit, only with whiskers and a tail. "Ack!" It screeched in a high pitched voice, "Things!" And scampered off into the horizon.  
  
Arthur looked to Zaphod who was scratching one of his heads. "Unpopulated?"  
  
"Who knows?" Zaphod said and they followed the little rat being towards gods know what.  
  
"This is such a bad idea," Marvin said. He had been busy most of his time arguing with the doors about the state of affairs with the world and had decided to follow them on this venture to see how miserable he could make their worlds.  
  
They stopped at a small cave, only in the ground, with stairs. They followed the spiral down, down, down, down, down... Oh hell you get the point. They went pretty far down into the bowels of the planet. They stopped when they found a group of small rat like beings who scampered away at their sight. The smaller ones however stood on chairs shooing their male counterparts to whisk the visitors away.  
  
Finally at the end of the long journey they came to a small anti-chamber. The only interesting thing about it was the fact that it was circular and was completely bathed in an orangish reddish glow. For a second Arthur's sight reeled and he finally found the small bits of color strewn throughout the place.  
  
There was at the end of the room a rat being sitting by the fire. "I know why you came here." It said staring into the fire. Everyone in the small group exchanged glances. "You want a planet don't you?"  
  
"Umm," Fnord spoke up, "I had just gotten off a small, kinda boring planet off in the western end of the universe."  
  
"Ahh, it was a nice planet wasn't it?" He said and got up, tears in its eyes. It was dressed in a terry cloth robe and was exceedingly drunk off the sherry he had in a wine glass. "I (hic) helped create that planet. Earth wasn't it called?"  
  
"Yes it was!" Arthur said. He was feeling rather testy after being dislocated in space and time. "I had a home, a kettle, a bed, a pub in which to get libations, there was the store, the rain."  
  
"Yes. I once went there, right after it was (hic) created and looked around." The rat being said. "Oh I haven't properly int- introduced myself. I'm Larry." 


End file.
